Saturday, June 26, 2010
Just watched finish the movie "Shutter Island"...
And man I shouldn't have watched it...
Somehow deep inside...
I always had this crazy idea that my life is a setup...
No matter how ridiculous it might sound...
I don't know...
Maybe after knowing how warped my life story is...
You might think it is...
Or maybe I'm really a Mental Patient...
LOL...
Yea...
I don't know how to describe this feeling I'm having now...
All I can say is that it sucks...
Maybe hollow is the word...
Or maybe more of helplessness...
Or maybe just feeling like I'm in mid air with no support...
Wanted to make a major decision in life...
But yet...
I really don't know what to do...
This decision will affect the next 9 years of my life...
Argh...
It sucks to be in this position now...
Dream to live; Live to dream
10:28 PM
Friday, June 11, 2010
Hmmm...
The whole thought of BMT ending soon brought in headache...
Alot decisions have to be made...
And alot of worries...
All that made me a lil grumpy these days...
Hmm...
Qn 1: Sign on?
Qn 2: If given the chance, go OCS?
These 2 main qns will lead to many sub qns...
Eventually they made up alot of choices...
I'm really couldn't decide anything now...
Too many uncertainty...
I'm really very emotionally "..."
Hmmm...
Haiz...
BMT is nearly over...
Some things never changed...
Somehow...
I've really no idea what kept me going...
Or whether I'm even advancing...
I need a source of motivation...
I've no confidence in going OCS if I have no motivation...
Though I feel myself stronger...
(Physically or mentally I'm not sure)
But I'm sure its not enough...
Haiz...
I guess when I lost the last gem...
I'm not going to find another...
Dream to live; Live to dream
12:35 AM
